Sunday, April 25, 2021
This is totally serious. I think it would be fun and interesting to have a memorial service for Sharon, attended only by former students/members. It will be by Zoom, and I can host. No agenda, no rules, no nothing. Just really an excuse to touch base. A little closure, as if that were possible. No date/time set -- it will be dependent on convenience for participants. There will NOT be: committees, contributions, aims, outbursts, drama, public humiliation, dress code, or dancing with groping teachers. It will hopefully be just some time to see each other (or feel free to mute the camera and/or mike and just listen). Email me if you're interested, but only for former members, please. This will be completely confidential. email@example.com
at 4:30 PM
Thursday, April 22, 2021
I receive many emails/calls from strangers who have loved ones stuck in School. They tell me that their loved ones cut ties with them, years ago, out of nowehere and for no apparent reason, and they are heartbroken, confused, mourning. For those of you who have survived/escaped, does this sound familiar? Were you in class when Sharon or Fred or Robert would spends months or years wearing members down to cut ties with the closest of friends or family or spouses? It always seemed like a good move (at the time) because Sharon gaslighted us all to beleive that the loved ones were too nosy, not loving enough, too cheap, too dumb, too loving, fill in the blank. As heartbreaking as this is, and how powerless I or anyone is to do anything about this tragedy, I do welcome these emails/calls from strangers and I will continue to honor requests for confidentiality.
at 11:47 AM
Tuesday, April 20, 2021
My friend and mentor Esther Friedman -- the brilliant author, blogger, musician -- writes: "Just say NO to silence & secrecy! It's toxic." I say to Esther (and to anyone else listening): "The long arm of Sharon Gans reaches beyond the grave, covering the mouths of current and former victims. Its no different than the pedophile priests or coaches who can keep their victims quiet."
at 1:09 PM
Monday, April 19, 2021
A fellow survivor who came to "School" the same exact night in June 1989 penned an poignant essay called "Silent Treatment: which you can find here. I welcome anyone to submit essays/posts/musings/memos/tirades/rants for posting. The more people who are willing to speak out, the more likely we can help people get out. Just send me an email -- firstname.lastname@example.org. You can remain anonymous if you wish.
at 1:53 PM
Sunday, April 18, 2021
A reader sent me this note and asked for it to be posted: Hi Spencer, There's a terrific new voice talking insightfully about narcissists and other "Cluster B' personality disorders-- the kind who rule cults and tyrannies-- on Dissafected Podcast. He offers tips to recognize the characteristics and strategy to deal with them effectively, whether the problem person a control-freak public official or your own mother.
at 7:44 AM